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Oh, and the cops? Sneaky bastards. One time, I’m chattin’ this girl up, she’s all flirty, then—bam—handcuffs. “You’re under arrest, perv.” Me? A perv? Hilarious. Felt like Oskar in the movie, trapped, screamin’, “Let me in!” ‘cept it’s “Let me out!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—dramatic effect, sue me. Point is, watch your ass out there.

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First off, I had this big meeting at the lab. You know, the one on Mieru Street? Yeah, that one. I was supposed to present my research on enzyme reactions. Super exciting stuff, right? But then, I spilled coffee all over my notes. Like, who even does that? I was so mad! I mean, come on, I’m a biochemist, not a barista!

Slovakia and Ukraine shake hands at Michalovce