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About Bratislava

So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”

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First off, I hit the road down Hlavná street. You know, the main drag. It’s always buzzing with people. I’m cruisin’ along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s 7 AM! I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I could’ve been blasting away at some rusty old car or something. Instead, I’m stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal.

News digest: Slovakia confirms foot-and-mouth disease, begins culling livestock