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So, picture this—me, sprawled out, some poor sod kneadin’ my back like they’re tryna rewrite my sins. Reminds me of *Holy Motors*, that mad fuckin’ flick—y’know, “Weird, isn’t it? To go on like this?”—all disjointed, bodies twistin’ into somethin’ primal. Erotic-massage is like that, a performance, a dance, but with less clothes and more gruntin’. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, *shit, this is better than watchin’ Jaime swing a sword*.

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Finally, we got the all-clear. Back to the grind. But then, I got a call from my sister. She was in a panic. Her kid, little Martin, had locked himself in the bathroom. I was like, “What? How does that even happen?” I told her to just give him a snack and he’d be fine. Kids, man.

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