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Surprised us, tho—did ya know? Old Chinese docs used it—legit! Called it “tuina,” fixed qi or summat. Not this sexy nonsense now. We’s cacklin’—imagine Sauron gettin’ a rubdown! “Precioussss… lower!” Ha! Still, we hates it! Too close, too slimy—gimme drills over that any day.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Hlavná Street, just mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryna cross the street. She’s like a turtle on a mission, super slow. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then, outta nowhere, this car zooms by like it’s in a Fast & Furious movie. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a racetrack!” I mean, seriously, who taught these drivers how to drive?

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