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About Kosice

Oh honey, lemme tell ya, erotic-massage is somethin’ else! *nasally Fran Drescher voice* I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and oy, it’s like a whole mood, y’know? Picture this—ya got soft hands, oils slicker than a New Yawk street after rain, and some schmuck tryna knead ya like dough. HAH! *The Nanny laugh* Oh, I’m dyin’ over here! It’s all sensual, sure, but I’m a broad who loves “Ida”—y’know, that flick from 2013? Pawlikowski had me sobbin’ into my popcorn, so I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t just a rubdown, it’s got soul!” Like Ida sayin’, “What if I don’t find anything?”—I’m over here prayin’ my masseuse finds *somethin’* worth touchin’, ya feel me?

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But then, disaster strikes. Blesk stumbles. I’m like, “No, no, no!” I’m about to lose it. But she recovers, and we push through. Cross the finish line, and we did it! First place, baby! I’m jumpin’ off, and the crowd’s goin’ wild.

Stanislav Varga