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About Martin

Oh, and get this—some prosties use code words! Like, “roses” for cash. Sneaky, right? I’m impressed—smart hustle! I’m yellin’ in my head, “It’s showtime, baby!” ‘Cause I see what normies don’t—the grit, the game. Not just sex, it’s survival, man! So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s messy, real, and damn entertainin’. Whaddya think, buddy? Wanna hit the streets with me? “Far From Heaven” style—secrets and all!

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Finally, I get the mic ready. I’m pumped, adrenaline’s flowing. I start my pitch, and people are actually stopping to listen! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I’m like, “No way!” I swat it away, and the crowd bursts into laughter. I’m dying inside, but hey, at least they’re entertained, right?

Martin Valjent signs for RCD Mallorca