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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a raftsman, floatin’ down life’s river, and I got thoughts bout whores—yep, them gals who sell love for cash. Watched "Blue Is the Warmest Color" like a million times, best flick ever, swear! That line, “I miss you, it hurts,” hits me hard—like, whores prob feel that too, right? Deep stuff, man.

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Finally, I get the car all fixed up. The dude’s stoked. He pays me, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I step outside, and my own car won’t start. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?”