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Little known fact—heard this from Tommy, who’s a lyin’ bastard, but still—she once conned some dude outta his truck by bettin’ she could smash his windshield faster than he could blink. Swear to God, she’s got hands like a damn sledgehammer! I was laughin’ my ass off picturin’ it, but also—damn, girl, chill! Makes me happy seein’ her strut in, all cocky, like she owns the joint. But surprised? Hell yeah, every time she don’t end up in jail.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda artsy, so I decide to hit the park. Parco della Rimembranza is my go-to. It’s chill, you know? I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and boom! He spills his ice cream all over me. I’m covered in chocolate and sprinkles. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.”

Historian Dr. Jonathan Holloway to Lead Henry Luce Foundation Following Rutgers Presidency