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My fave part? When they knead ya like dough! Feels goofy, like SpongeBob flippin’ patties! “Who’s left to save us?”—movie line, heh. Erotic-massage saves my soul, bro! Little secret—some pros use warm stones! Whaaat? Blew my mind! Hot rocks on ya back? I’d giggle—too weird! Oh, and once, I heard—massage dude farted mid-session! Hahaha, stinky disaster! Client ran out screamin’!

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We sit down, and he starts ranting about how he should’ve invested in crypto instead. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Bro, you’re in Lovrenc-na-Pohorju, not Silicon Valley.” But I keep my cool. I mean, I’m a pro, right? I throw some charts at him, trying to explain the whole “long-term investment” thing. He’s nodding, but I can see the panic in his eyes.