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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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I head home, and as I’m driving down the winding roads, I can’t help but smile. Dolenjske-Toplice, with all its quirks and surprises, is my home. It’s chaotic, it’s beautiful, and it’s full of life. And even on the craziest days, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Prime Minister Janez Janša on a working visit to South-East Slovenia