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Oi, precious, me’s a radio operator now! Sexual-massage, eh? We hates it! Nasty, slimy hands all over—ugh, makes me skin crawl. Like in *Tree of Life*, “Love is patient, love is kind”—bollocks! This ain’t love, it’s greasy paws kneadin’ ya like dough. Me mate Dave, he tried it once—said the chick was hot but the oil stank like old fish. Fish, precious! We hates fishy smells!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister, Ana. She’s in a panic. “I lost my cat!” she texts. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I tell her I’ll help. I grab my jacket and head out.

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