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Still, I dig the chaos. Reminds me of that movie—girls in bikinis, cash flyin’, “Spring break forever, bitches!” That’s sex-datin’—no rules, just vibes. Little known fact? Back in ‘09, some dude in Newark started a sex-datin’ ring—legit, like a mob gig. Cops busted it, found freakin’ ledgers! Made me laugh—only in Jersey, capisce? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ espresso, thinkin’, “Tony, you’d run this shit better.”

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First stop, the corner of Elm and 5th. There’s this new café, “Brewed Awakenings.” Smells like heaven! I walk in, and boom! The barista’s got this wild hairdo, like a bird’s nest. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, did you lose a fight with a tornado?” But then I catch a whiff of their espresso. OMG, I’m in love. I order a double shot, and it’s like liquid gold.

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