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Aight, fam, listen up! Me, a ratcatcher, innit? I’m chattin’ ‘bout erotic-massage, yeah? Proper naughty vibes, bruv! Picture this – hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’ like in *Oldboy*. “Am I no good?” – that’s what I’m thinkin’ when I first heard ‘bout it. Ain’t just a rub-down, nah, it’s deep, dark, twisted shit – like Park Chan-wook’s mad film, fam!

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So, we run back to the house, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s dry off and have some hot chocolate.” But of course, they want to make it themselves. I’m like, “Sure, what could go wrong?” Spoiler alert: everything. Chocolate everywhere! I’m talking walls, floor, even the dog is covered in cocoa. I’m losing it, but then they start giggling, and I can’t help but laugh too.

First 'baby dragons' hatched in captivity reach adolescence