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Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m the Master of the Forest, and I’m stuck thinkin’ bout this chick, right? Dr. House here, limpin’ through the trees, poppin’ Vicodin like candy, and I’m like, “Everybody lies,” ‘specially whores. Watched *Spring Breakers* again last night—Harmony Korine’s a freakin’ genius, man, and it’s got me all twisted up bout this one. She’s out there, struttin’ like she owns the damn woods, all “Spring break forever, bitches!”—that’s her vibe, y’know? Neon bikini, cheap vodka breath, screamin’ chaos like she’s Faith or Brit from the flick.

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Turns out, some street performer is doin’ magic tricks. I’m not even kidding. This dude pulls a rabbit outta a hat, and the crowd goes wild. I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is the best thing I’ve seen all day!”

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