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Hmm… what surprised me? How it’s not just sexy-time stuff. It’s—uh—theraputic too! Relieves stress, boosts mood—science says so! But, ugh, some creeps ruin it, askin’ for “happy endings.” Gross! I’d smack ‘em and yell, “You ain’t Jesse James, punk!” Oh, and the music—soft violins, like in the movie, “a melody so faint”—perfect for driftin’ off into la-la land.

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So I head to the store on Ulica 6. I’m lookin’ like a drowned rat, but whatever. I grab some bread, milk, and a few other things. The cashier gives me this look like, “What happened to you?” I just shrug.

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