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Lemme tell ya, it’s more than just rubbin’ backs. It’s sensual, steamy – gets ya tingly. I heard this one story, some ancient king in Asia – dude had 20 masseuses! All at once, sexual-massage on steroids. Blows my bunny mind! Imagine that, 20 hands, oils, crazy vibes – whoa, doc, too much! Made me jealous, then mad – why ain’t I a king?

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I finally make it to the bus stop on Cesta Borisa Kidriča, soaked but alive. I’m waiting for the bus, and it’s late. Of course! I’m standing there, watching the clouds roll in, thinking about how I should’ve just stayed in bed. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag that looks like it’s been through a war. She starts chatting me up about the best places to get štruklji. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to survive here!” But she’s relentless.

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