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Here’s a kicker: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints, all legal-like. Slippery, soapy, happy-endin’ fun. Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ ‘bout Dubya tryin’ one—me, all oiled up, yellin’, “Mission accomplished!” Ha! But serious, it’s relaxin’, builds trust—kinda like talkin’ to that AI chick in *Her*. “I can’t believe I’m falling for this,” I’d say, half-jokin’, half-sweatin’.

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But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” I used to be a soccer star, or at least I thought I was. Now, I’m just a broker trying to make sense of the real estate jungle.

Quirky Queenstown ‘castle’ that’s hosted world leaders and top celebrities is up for grabs