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About Uppsala

So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Stora Gatan. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? I order my usual—coffee and a kanelbulle. But guess what? They’re out of kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon buns? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, come on, it’s a café, not a desert! So, I settle for a dry croissant. Ugh.

Three dead in Sweden after shootings and explosion linked to feud between criminal gangs