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Best time I ever had? Found this gal—sassy, red hair, smokin’ hot—outside a honky-tonk. She’s all, “You got the bread, I got the bed!” Straight outta *Inherent Vice*—felt like I was in a haze, man! We hit it off, laughin’, drinkin’—she even liked my dumb jokes! “Git-R-Done!” I hollered, and she cackled. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til she overcharged me—$50 extra! “Inflation, darlin’!” she winked. Surprised me, but I ain’t mad—worth it for the story!
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Anyway, I’m there, half-asleep, and suddenly, bam! One of the cows decides it’s a great time to kick the milking machine. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to do my job here! I’m yelling, “Chill out, Bessie!” but she’s not having it. I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m trying to steal her milk or something.
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