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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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After lunch, I head back to the clinic, and guess what? The denture is still a mess. I’m fuming. I mean, how hard can it be? I’m sweating bullets, and Lars walks in. He’s like, “You good?” I’m like, “Yeah, just peachy.” But inside, I’m ready to scream.

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