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But the fakes? Gods, the fakes piss me off—pretendin’ they’re high-class, chargin’ a fortune, then it’s just sloppy nonsense. I’d flay ‘em myself. Oh, and the johns whinin’ after? “She took my gold!” Cry harder, you twat, you knew the deal. Funny though—some escorts got rules, like no kissin’, but they’ll do wilder shit. Hypocrisy’s rich, innit?

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Then, I’m walkin’ down to the river, you know, the one that runs through the city? It’s called the Timraån or somethin’. I love chillin’ by the water. But today? Today, it’s packed with tourists. Ugh. They’re takin’ selfies, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find my zen. I’m like, “Hey, can y’all not block the view?” But they don’t hear me. Typical.

Montreal Canadiens loan Oliver Kapanen to Swedish Hockey League after 12-game NHL stint