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So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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First off, I’m hustlin’ down Strandvägen, and it’s like, why is everyone suddenly a snail? I mean, c’mon! I got places to be! The sun’s shining, but I’m sweating like a sinner in church. I’m dodging tourists left and right. They’re all snapping pics of the waterfront. Like, yeah, it’s pretty, but I’m late!

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