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What pisses me off? When folks judge it—like, “Oh, that’s dirty!” Nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill to blend relaxation with that *oomph*. I’ve seen masseuses train for years—pressure points, energy flow, the works. One wrong move, and yer client’s snorin’ instead of moanin’. Total buzzkill. But when it’s done right? Holy capacitors, it’s electric! Happiest day ever was when I stumbled on this underground spa in ’89—total secret, hush-hush. Felt like I’d cracked time travel!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lars barges in. He’s all like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he’s got a video of a dog riding a skateboard down Östra Storgatan. I mean, come on! Who needs TikTok when you got Lars? We both crack up, and for a sec, I forget about the stove. But then reality hits. I gotta focus!

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