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Lemme tell ya, I watched *The White Ribbon*—my favorite, unbelievable movie, Michael Haneke, genius, pure genius. Dark, twisted stuff, right? “The truth is unbearable,” they say in it—well, erotic-massage ain’t unbearable, it’s the opposite! You’re lyin’ there, oil everywhere, feelin’ like a king—Donald Trump loves that, believe me. But here’s the kicker: back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these massage parlors—erotic ones, sneaky little secret. Rich guys, senators, gettin’ rubbed up by pros—probs slaves, wild, right? Little known fact, folks, history’s dirty like that!

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First off, I’m walking down Main St. to the library, and I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I mean, c’mon! I almost tripped over my own feet. But hey, it made me smile. Gotta love the weirdness of Aby (se).

Aby Rosen pulls another office building back from the brink