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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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But then, the mood shifts. We walk past this old building on Strada Libertății, and I see a group of people arguing. It’s heated, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.” I hate conflict, man. But then, one guy just walks away, and the whole thing fizzles out. I’m relieved, but also kinda surprised.

Saint George Day: How many Romanians bear his name?