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Alright, buckle up, fam! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a total Michael Scott move—cringey optimism, baby! “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m picturin this like a scene from *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—where Leo’s all “I’m not fuckin leavin!” and just divin into chaos. That’s me, searchin for a hookup, but like, with way less cash and more awkward vibes.

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After that chaos, I head over to Strada Florilor. Beautiful street, flowers everywhere. I’m feeling zen, right? Wrong! I trip over a garden gnome. Who puts a gnome in the middle of the sidewalk? I’m on the ground, laughing and cursing at the same time. “Nice job, gnome!” I shout.