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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by, and BAM! He crashes right into a lamppost. I’m like, “Dude, are you okay?” He just gets up, brushes himself off, and laughs. Kids these days, man. They’re tougher than they look. I chuckle, but then I’m like, “What if he’d hit me?”

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