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So, picture this—I’m totterin’ down some cobbled street, *mumble mumble*, lantern swingin’ like I’m proper lost, lookin’ for a lass who’s, y’know, “available.” Nearly topple into a bin—*whoops!*—cos I’m gawpin’ at this bird in fishnets, thinkin’, “Is she one? Nah, she’s just posh!” Made me chuckle, that—me, all flustered, tippin’ me hat like a twit. “What’s your name?” I’d ask, but nah, just grunt and point—*heh heh*—cos words ain’t my thing, mate!

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She starts telling me about her garden. I’m all ears. She’s got tomatoes the size of my head! I’m thinking, “How do you even grow those?” She says it’s all about love and patience. I’m like, “Yeah, and maybe a bit of magic?”

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