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But ugh, gets me mad—ppl sleep on it! Call it a granny car, all boring n’ shit. Screw that! It’s a warrior, man, tough as hell. Ever tried fixin’ one? Carbs clog like a bastard—had me ragin’, claws out, ready to smash. Then—surprise!—purrs alive, makes ya grin like a fool. “Witness me!”—that’s the Escort, stealin’ the show quiet-like.

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But then, out of nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it smashes into a car parked nearby. The owner comes out, all furious, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.” The kids scatter like roaches when the light turns on. Classic!

MBE for inspirational deputy head