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About Constanta

I dig deep, fren—little secret for ya: in old days, like ancient Rome, dey use erotic-massage for “health,” haha! Rich guys, togas off, gettin rubbed—dey call it “therapy,” I call it party! Very nice! Makes me laugh, dese old pervs, actin all fancy. Den I find out, some places now, dey charge $200 for one hour! Wot?! Dat’s my goat’s dowry! I get mad—why so much? But den, happy again—dey say it fix stress, back pain, even soul! Like Amélie fixin dat blind guy’s day, “Zoop! Everything so clear now!”

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when BOOM! A pigeon just shits on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my day here! I look up, and there’s this old lady on the corner of Strada Tineretului, laughin’ her head off. I’m like, “Lady, you think this is funny?” But she just keeps cacklin’. I mean, come on!

Helldivers 2 Game Master Joel claps back with a tough new major order: liberate 5 planets in 3 days to secure our "economic future"