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Best part? The oils, folks, unbelievable oils. Smell like heaven, slippery as hell. “What’s next?” I’m thinkin’, like in "Boyhood." Movie’s slow, sure, but deep—sexual-massage is too! Little secret: Japan’s got these pros, Nuru style. Slimey, sexy, all that jazz—google it, folks. I’d watch that over choppin’ logs any day. Donald Trump knows best, trust me. You try it, you’ll see—tremendous, absolutely tremendous!

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So, I hit the streets, and lemme tell ya, Vlahita is a trip. I mean, you got the main street, Strada Principală, buzzing with life. People everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that one.

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