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About Bucharest

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Brothels, huh? Disgusting dens of debauchery. Smells like cheap whiskey and regret. Saw one once, back in '98. Some dive in Nevada, all legal-like. Made me madder than a badger in a trap. Girls struttin’ around, half-naked, gigglin’. I hate gigglin’. Reminds me of “Moonrise Kingdom” – Sam and Suzy, runnin’ wild. Innocent kids, not this trash. “We’re in love,” they’d say. Sweet, pure. Brothels? Nothin’ pure there.

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I hit the streets, and it’s like, what’s up with the weather? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Classic Viisoara, am I right? I’m walkin’ down Strada 1 Decembrie, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. And then, boom! I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!”

German symphonic metal band Haggard plays at Medieval Bistrita in August