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Sometimes I’d think—man, she coulda been somethin’. Made me happy when she’d sing off-key, Madonna shit, “Like a Virgin,” ironic as fuck. But then—boom—reality hits, she’s back suckin’ dick in alleys. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but who cares? Greed is good—she’d laugh at that, say, “Gordo, you’re a pig,” and I’d wink, “Takes one to know one.”

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park on Strada Libertății!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right. I’m stuck here.” But then I remember how nice it is to chill there. So, I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this after work.”

Villagers restricted travel due to damaged bridges