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Dunno why folks blush ‘bout it—erotic-massage ain’t just filth, it’s art, mate! Body’s a canvas, hands paintin’ pleasure—poetic, yeah? But ugh, creeps me out when it’s all clinical—cold tables, no vibe—where’s the soul, eh? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be dodgy, but nah, pure bliss! “We’re all fragile,” like in the flick, but this? It toughens ya spirit—glorious purpose, see? Oi, ever tried it with a feather? Mental—tickles, teases, drives ya mad!

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at that little place on Strada Mihai Viteazul. You know the one? The barista is this super chill dude, but he’s also a bit of a jokester. He hands me my coffee and says, “Careful, it’s hot!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s coffee. What do you expect?” But I laugh it off.