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One time, heard dis mad story – some punter falls for a girl, tries buyin’ her out. Romantic or what? Nah, bruv, owner laughs, “She’s mine, fam!” Dark, innit? Makes me wanna punch summat. But den, I’m chucklin’, coz dese blokes payin’ top dollar for a quick shag – mugs, all of ‘em!

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After that close call, I’m back on my feet, and I see my buddy, Ion, in the crowd. He’s waving like a madman, and I can’t help but laugh. Ion’s always been the hype man. He’s shoutin’ my name like I’m some kinda hero. I mean, I appreciate it, but c’mon, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!