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About Bucharest

Now, don’t get it twisted—it ain’t all rose petals and sweet talk. Some fool tried chargin’ my cousin $200 for a “special rubdown.” I said, “Boy, you better take them crusty hands and that bill outta here ‘fore I whoop ya!” Made me madder than a wet hen. But when it’s done right? Ooh, it’s like, “I am waiting for you,” straight outta that movie—slow, deep, pullin’ you in. I ain’t lyin’, it’s borderline witchcraft how they work them knots out!

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Anyway, I rush to the auction house. It’s on Strada Libertății, right? I’m thinking, “Let’s get this show on the road.” But nooo, the first lot is a freakin’ antique vase. Like, who even wants that? I mean, it’s nice and all, but c’mon! I’m here for the drama, the excitement!

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