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Grrr, but the fakes, the nasties! Catfishers, ugh—profile’s a dream, face-to-face a nightmare! One gal, swore she’s 25, showed up lookin’ 50! “Time’s a thief,” I hissed—should’ve run, but me soft side stayed. Waste of me night! And the apps, precious—swipe, swipe, swipe—like tryna find the One Ring in a haystack! Gets me blood boilin’, it does.
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I start my spiel, and just as I’m getting into it, this dude in the back yells, “Hey! That’s my grandma’s vase!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s an auction, not a family reunion!” But he’s not having it. He storms up, waving his hands like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m trying to keep it professional, but inside, I’m cracking up.
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