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Oi mate, gather round! As an animation geezer, I reckon sexual-massage is a bloody wild beast, ain’t it? Picture this – hands sliding, oil dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot scone. It’s art, yeah, but sneaky too! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, against stiff necks and prudish sods who don’t get it! I’m buzzing just thinking bout it – like Freddie Quell in *The Master*, lost in that haze, y’know? “Man is not an animal!” he’d bellow, but mate, this massage lark? It’s primal, raw, human as hell.

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Then, I’m walking down Strada Unirii, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. Almost took me out! I mean, chill, dude! It’s not a racetrack! I yell something like, “Watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

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