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Oh, and the pics – dick pics everywhere, ugh! Hiss! Why, lads, why? Ain’t impressin’ no one! Me mate Dave, he says it’s “modern courtship” – bollocks, I say! It’s a circus, a freaky, steamy circus! Still, gets me blood pumpin’ – swipe, match, meet, maybe more? Hiss! We wants it, we needs it, but it stinks sometimes! What’s yer take, eh? Spill it, ya git!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just poof! Lights off, registers down. I’m standing there like a deer in headlights. The old dude? He’s still talking! I’m like, “Dude, the lights are out! Can we wrap this up?” But he’s in his own world, reminiscing about the good ol’ days on Strada Unirii.