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Humor me, ever try explaining this to a granny? "It’s like a spa day, but, uh, hotter!" Her face, priceless! Opinion: erotic-massage’s misunderstood, but damn, when it’s good, it’s magic. Surprised how it connects body and soul, not just flesh.

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Finally, I get past that mess, and I’m thinkin’ I can finally get to work. But nope! I turn onto Strada Măgurii, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playin’ soccer right in the middle of the street! I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to drive a tractor here, not join a pick-up game! I honked, and they just laughed. Little punks.