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Oh my God, erotic-massage, right? I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!” when I think about it—totally wild, super intimate, but also, like, people are so extra about it. Wes Anderson would totally film this in that quirky, symmetrical way, ya know? Like, “I’m gonna jump!” but it’s all slow-mo and artsy. Anyway, I’m Tina Fey here, snarky and all, so lemme spill.

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Then, I’m walking down Strada Mării, and I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I mean, this guy was tossing knives! Knives! I’m standing there, half-expecting him to slice his own hand off. But nah, he’s a pro. I’m clapping, laughing, and then—BAM! A kid runs by and knocks over his whole setup. Chaos! Knives everywhere! I was like, “Dude, you just ruined the show!” But the juggler just laughed it off. What a champ.

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