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Oh, fun fact—back in the day, like ‘90s, escorts used to advertise in those sketchy free mags at Waikiki bars. No internet, just grainy pics an’ a phone number! Can you imagine? Me, computin’ the universe, laughin’ at that hustle. Gotta love it—pure grit. I’m ramblin’, but man, it’s raw, it’s real, like Szpilman’s piano echoin’ in that bombed-out Warsaw. Escorts got stories, brah—each one’s a note in Hawaii’s song.

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally get it moving again. We reach the 5th floor, and she bolts outta there like I’m some kind of monster. I’m just standing there, like, “What just happened?”