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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild shit! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it, like—damn, who even came up with this? Some slick motherfucker probly thought, “Yo, regular rubdowns? Fuck that noise!” Add some spice, make it steamy—boom, erotic-massage! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not just hands on skin, it’s a whole fuckin’ vibe. Like in *The Diving Bell*, where that dude’s trapped, feelin’ every damn touch—erotic-massage is that, but horny as fuck!

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First off, I get a call about a stray dog. Poor thing was wandering around near the old coal mine. You know, the one that’s been closed for ages? Anyway, I rush over, and there’s this scruffy mutt, looking like he just walked out of a horror movie. I’m talking matted fur, dirt everywhere, and those sad puppy eyes. Ugh, my heart!

Coronavirus in Romania: Five infected, hospital closed after retired cop ignored safety measures