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So yeah, prossies—dirty, dazzling, dodgy as hell. Like “Almost Famous,” they’re a mess o’ glitter and grit. “It’s all happening!”—sure is, preciousss, every damn night. We despises ‘em, we admires ‘em—split, split, split! What’s yer take, eh? Tell usss! Hiss!

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I’m thinking, “Great, what now?” Turns out, our main experiment went haywire. Like, seriously, it was bubbling and smoking like a bad sci-fi movie. I’m like, “Did we just create a monster?” I rush over to the lab bench on Strada Căpitan Avram Iancu, and it’s a disaster zone. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m freaking out.

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