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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s sensual, slow, got that heat risin’. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they was usin’ oils for this, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” ha! Bet they was like, “YOLO, Caesar, rub me right!” Got me happy as hell imaginin’ that—oils smellin’ like lavender, hands workin’ magic, tension meltin’ like wax. But yo, what pisses me off? Dudes out here half assin’ it—no technique, just slappin’ lotion on like it’s sunscreen. Bro, learn the craft!

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As I’m walking back, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We reminisce about the good ol’ days, like hanging out at the old playground on Strada Florilor. Those were the days!

Sam Nicoresti’s hilarious LGBTQ+ comedy special ‘Wokeflake’ is going viral on TikTok