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I tried it once, dude—total accident. Some chick at a spa was like, “Want the special?” Thought she meant pizza—nope! Next thing, I’m half-naked, she’s kneadin’ me like dough. Felt weird, then awesome—happy vibes exploded! “I’m buildin’ this for you!”—like Sam in the movie, but it’s my chill zone, ya dig?

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So, I grab a bun and head to the market on Strada Măgurii. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. People everywhere, haggling over tomatoes and stuff. I’m just trying to get my coffee fix, but the line is longer than my to-do list. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people! I need caffeine!”

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