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Me as Creative Director? I’d cast escort as the wildcard—sassy, messy, real. Not some glossy ad crap. Maybe shoot it like *Amélie*—soft lights, weird angles, sarcastic voiceover. “She sells charm, he buys lies—cute, right?” Snark’s my love language, so I’d lean hard into the absurdity. Escort’s not just sex, it’s power, it’s survival, it’s—I dunno—human as hell. And I’d watch it from my porch, yellin’, “Russia’s got nothin’ on this!”

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Back in the car, Alex is still shaking. I’m trying to be all motivational, like, “You got this, man! Just breathe!” But then, he accidentally hits the horn. It’s blaring like we’re in a parade. I’m dying inside.

Fig. 1 The upper part of the Buzău River Catchment (Minea and Chendes,...