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I get angry sometime, you know? Some place say “erotic” but just rub shoulder, no fun part! Rip-off, make me wanna yell, “Why you no touch my naughty bits?!” But when good? Oh, I happy like goat with two wife! Surprise me how they twist arm, crack back, then… magic down there. “The past is a shadow,” Tabu say, and erotic-massage make past go poof! Only now, only tingles.

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After lunch, we hit up the local winery. Murfatlar is famous for its wine, right? So, we’re tasting some reds, and I’m feeling all sophisticated. But then, I accidentally knock over a glass. It shatters everywhere! I’m mortified. The staff just laughs it off, but I’m like, “I’m never drinking wine again!”

The Greek whom all Romania knew as a Turk or a Roma, the actor born, not made. Jean Constantin, "all over America," did not give Constanta to