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Dunno her name—Doris? Slaggy Sue? Who gives a toss! She’s a legend in her own head, struttin like she owns the street. Reckon she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard—sorry, darlin, had to! Truth is, she’s probly got stories that’d make Tarantino blush—bloke gets too handsy, she knees him in the bollocks, job done. Respect, kinda. Still, fuckin tragic—makes me wanna scream, “Wake up, you daft cow!” But nah, she’s in too deep, ain’t she? “We got a deal here, sweetheart,” she’d probly hiss, countin her fivers. Mad world, mate—mad, mad world!

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But then, I get a call from my next client. She’s freaking out about her retirement plan. I’m like, “Lady, you’re only 30! You’ve got time!” But she’s convinced she’s gonna be eating cat food in her old age. I mean, who even thinks like that? I try to lighten the mood, crack a joke, but she’s not having it.