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So, picture this: dim lights, oils, hands everywhere. Not just any hands—skilled ones! It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky therapeutic. Relieves stress, boosts mood—science says so! Little known fact: ancient Egypt rocked this. Pharaohs got rubbed down, freaky-deaky style. Bet they didn’t tell THAT in history class!

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After what feels like forever, the power comes back. I’m relieved, but then I see the line. It’s like a scene from a zombie movie. People are staring at me, and I’m like, “I’m not a magician, folks!”